forums.cubicle7.co.uk
archive

The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf.

But that's what happened around 7 a.m. as she drove her red BMW by the intersection of Southeast 7th and Morrison.

A man dressed in chain-mail with a helmet, shield and carrying a sword and staff ran into traffic and started attacking her car.

She called 911, reporting that "a pirate" was attacking her car.

When police got there, they detained Konrad Bass of Glendale, Oregon.

Bass told officers that he wasn't a pirate but a "high-elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth."

Morgoth is a character created by JRR Tolkien in a prequel to the Lord of the Rings stories. In the stories, he is the character from which all evil grew.

Bass, who was cited for criminal mischief and transported to Providence Hospital, also told officers he had taken LSD.

The woman's car had several puncture marks.

Morgoth wrote:Man, do I have a story to tell you guys.

Last week, I'm sitting in my car... minding my own business when some nut in chainmail comes and smashes my car with a sword. Can you believe it? Kids these days...