forums.cubicle7.co.uk
archive

"Know, oh prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atalantë and its gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the sons of Sumer, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across Middle-earth like blue mantles beneath the stars... Hither came Aragorn son of Arathorn, black-haired, grim of visage, sword in hand, a wanderer, a rider, a captain, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the Reunited Kingdoms under his booted feet."

"Now sit right down and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful quest,
That started from this Hobbit Hole, forth from this breakfast mess..."

Glorelendil wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 14, 2017 5:20 pm

"Now sit right down and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful quest,
That started from this Hobbit Hole, forth from this breakfast mess..."

Tol Brandir, otherwise known as Pippin’s Island. With Aragorn as the Skipper, Gandalf as the Professor...

"...the scout was an epicurean, the wizard wise and sure,
five hero-friends set forth that day on a three fortnight tour.

...a three fortnight tour..."

(Crackling lightning sound effects)

"...the weather started getting rough, stone giants laughed and tossed,
if not for the courage of the hungry scout, the company would be lost

...the company would be lost..."

(Transition to image of cave deep underground)

"...the five fell down a hole in this uncharted mountain maze,
with..."

(cue cast)

Stormcrow wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:07 pm

Long ago in a distant land, I, Sauron, the shape-shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish elvish warrior wielding a magic spear stepped forth to oppose me. After the final blow was struck, a Númenórean took my magic ring, and it was lost until the future where my evil is regrowing. Now the fool's descendants seek to return to my land and undo the future that is Sauron.

It has been... 15? 20 years maybe, so my memories are foggy, but... Samurai Jack?

Corvo wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:08 pm

Samurai Jack?

Yes.

It's time to pack the pony.
It's time to move at night.
It's time to meet the hobbits in the Fellowship tonight.

It's time to wield our weapons.
It's time to dress up right
It's time to stick to shadows in the Fellowship tonight.

How do we avoid Sauron?
I hope he doesn't know.
It's like a kind of torture
To have to cross this snow.

But now let's get things started.
Why don't you get things started?
It's time to get things started
In the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, hobbitational
This is what we call the Fellowship!

Stormcrow wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 14, 2017 9:21 pm

It's time to pack the pony.
It's time to move at night.
It's time to meet the hobbits in the Fellowship tonight.

It's time to wield our weapons.
It's time to dress up right
It's time to stick to shadows in the Fellowship tonight.

How do we avoid Sauron?
I hope he doesn't know.
It's like a kind of torture
To have to cross this snow.

But now let's get things started.
Why don't you get things started?
It's time to get things started
In the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, hobbitational
This is what we call the Fellowship!

+1

I am unfortunately not clever enough to participate, but I have enjoyed this post!

Frodo, Sam, and Gollum,
On a trip to Orodruin,
Found the greaaaatest chasm ever known.
Hiiiiigh 'bove the abyss,
The hobbit claimed the Ring,
Then Gollum fell a thousand feet below.

In the laaaaaaaand of Mordor.
In the laaaaaaaand of Mordor.
[etc.]

This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend. When the ancient Maiar were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering. Only one man dared to challenge their power: Aragorn*. Aragorn possessed a stature the world had lost long ago, a stature surpassed only by the power of his heart. He journeyed Middle-earth, battling the minions of the evil Shadow, Sauron, the all-powerful Dark Lord of Mordor. But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be Aragorn.

* Well, okay, Aragorn's not the only one, but then, neither is Hercules.